Daily Practice 02
Connect · 5 minutes
Ten Questions, One Answer
One question worth answering, instead of ten that get a shrug.
The moment
"How was school?" "Fine."
"Anything happen?" "No."
You are three questions in and already sound like an interview panel.
The problem is rarely the child. It is usually the question.
Try this
Ten Questions, One Answer
- 01Pick one question. Not three. One.
- 02Choose from questions that cannot be closed with a yes or no.What made you laugh today? Who had the worst day in your class? What was the most boring ten minutes? What's something an adult got wrong today? If you could redo one part of today, which part?
- 03Ask it once, then stop talking.
- 04Let the first silence sit.Most children answer in the gap after the pause, not in the pause.
- 05Follow whatever they actually said.Even if it is about a video game and not the thing you were fishing for.
If it goes nowhere, leave it. A question refused today is still a question they know you ask.
Why it may help
Broad questions ask a child to summarise a whole day, which is cognitively demanding and often gets abandoned. A narrow, specific, slightly playful question is easier to answer and can open a conversation that a general one closes. Silence matters too: children and teenagers frequently need several seconds of processing time before speaking, and filling that gap with another question can end the exchange before it starts.
Make it yours
- With a younger childAnswer it yourself first. Modelling gives them a shape to copy.
- With a teenAsk about the world rather than about them. Opinions come more easily than feelings.
- When everyone is already upsetSkip it. This practice needs a neutral moment, not a repair moment.
Keep this line
A better question is usually a smaller one.
Try it today
Pick one question before pickup or dinner.
Ask it once and wait longer than feels comfortable.
Whatever comes back is enough.
Daily Practices are psychoeducational wellbeing practices, not therapy, diagnosis or medical advice. They are written to be used imperfectly, on ordinary days.